We
process our experiences in different ways in different phases of our lives. All
our thoughts associated with these experiences are indelibly etched in our
subconscious minds, and inevitably creating our different feelings, both
positive and negative ones, in different phases in our lives, and they are all instrumental
in creating our own attachments over the long haul.
The Development Phase
Throughout
the early phase of growth and development, young children are exposed to the
world around them through their five senses. Their minds begin to process
whatever they perceive, generalize, and then apply them whenever and wherever
they may think appropriate—they become the foundation of their experiences and
perceptions, which subsequently create the expectations in their adult lives.
For example, when properly taught, they begin to show appreciation, as
demonstrated by their saying their first “thank you.”
During
this critical first phase, their mental input is automatic and passive because
their immature minds are unable to filter their mental input; their thoughts
are merely a micro reflection of the minds of their parents.
As they
grow up, however, they begin to learn how to refuse processing any unpleasant
experience, or interpret it in the way they choose according to its relevance
to their lives. Their selectivity then begins to alter how they process
their life experiences in the future.
In this
learning phase, children and young adults are learning incessantly, trying to
understand and make sense out of the complex world they are living in. In this
intensive learning phase, they begin to discern their respective roles they are
going to play, always looking for inspiration and direction from their parents
or people around them.
The Transitional Phase
Even
though every phase of a person’s life is important, none is more critical than
the transitional phase from adolescence to adulthood. As young adults, the
world around them becomes more complex and complicated. In addition, everything
around them also becomes increasingly exciting as experienced by the five
senses, such as music and sex. But their self-delusions created by the way they
process their own experiences may make them see more of the excitement and less
of the reality of their world.
This is
a critical phase for most of them because it defines not only who they are but
also what they value; it sets the foundation for the way that the rest of their
lives is likely to turn out because their thoughts are a preview of what their
future lives would be like.
The Consolidation Phase
As they
turn into full-grown adults, they begin to think more than just about
themselves: they may begin to focus more on people around them. They may have
their own life callings: career, health, love, or family; in other words, what
they are meant to do with their lives. With passion and bliss, they may begin
to define who they are. Being strong physically and mentally, they are in the
most productive phase in their lives. During this phase, they merely respond
and react, either positively or negatively, to their experiences presented to
them in the form of career, marriage, and parenting.
This is
a phase in which they consolidate their past experiences, and continue to build
their future lives on that foundation. If they avail themselves of the
opportunity to accept others as they are, and to become appreciative of what
life has to offer, they may then develop the quality of acceptance and
appreciation in the form of love and forgiveness, compassion and empathy—they will
then have their lasting effects on their future life experiences.
The Letting-Go Phase
With
advancement in age, and as age begins to take its toll on the body and the
mind, most of the life habits that control how they should live have become
well established. Their thoughts, based on decades of their past experiences,
now dominate their thinking, and hence control how they live the rest of their
lives. At this point, it may be difficult, if not impossible, to alter the way
they process their experiences and perceptions—just as the saying goes: “It is
difficult to teach an old dog new tricks.”
In this
final phase in their lives, unfortunately, they have to learn letting go,
whether they like it or not. Everything begins to slip away from their lives:
their youth, their health, and inevitably their minds too.
All in
all, how the mind processes experiences and perceptions determines the
type of person you are and will become. The happenings in your life are real,
but the way you process and perceive them may positively or
negatively affect your life because they are stored in your subconscious mind,
which may either give you valuable life lessons, or create delusions and
self-deceptions that may not only confuse you but also lead you astray. True
human wisdom, therefore, plays a pivotal role in how the thinking mind
processes all life experiences and their respective expectations.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
