The TAO of Peace and Serenity

Dealing with Daily Anger

Do you easily get angry over trivial things? Do you find it difficult to control your anger, even in public?

Anger or rage is an ineffective and inefficient way to resolve any daily issue or make any problem go away. It is a negative emotion that may lead to depression, if it is not properly gaddressed. According to scientific studies, strong negative emotions, such as anger, can create destructive mental energy that is health damaging.

So, how do you take care of your negative emotions?

Conventional wisdom is to use distraction to defuse and dissipate the sudden anger or rage.

Thomas Jefferson famously said, “When angry, count 10, before you speak; if very angry, 100.” 

According to Lao Tzu, the ancient sage from China, whose profound wisdom is known as TAO, we should do the following when we are angry:

Take a deep breath, review the situation, and ask yourself one simple question: why are you here in this situation?

Don’t hold your anger in; instead, let it go, by breathing it out. Don’t let it go as pain; instead, let it go as your acceptance. Don’t let your acceptance be viewed as a sign of your own weakness; instead, let it be a statement of your own communication to yourself that getting angry will not resolve the situation.

Remember, anger is always present to serve a purpose to release some deeper issues, problems, and internal conflicts that you may be carrying in your own bag and baggage all these years. It is always better to release anger than to turn it around to destroy yourself. Suppressing anger, on the other hand, is also self-destructive, as the negative energy redirects itself back into your own body. Anger in itself is always a path of destruction no matter what. Resolve anger by developing habits that may release internal conflicts in a constructive manner before it can be released as rage.

Remember, the world always reflects your actions. If you lash out in rage, then the world lashes back at you with that same rage causing pain or grief that still has to get resolved. There is no true “release” of anger, except by resolution.

TAO teaches that peace is the true warrior’s path. The sword while an option is never used with anger, or you may have lost from the start. According to Lao Tzu, “The best fighter is never becoming angry.”

Learn the wisdom of letting go -- letting go of your anger, your attachment to anything that defines your ego. When it comes to choosing between two things: being right, or being nice; always choose the latter.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau